


Remus's Guide To Mending Friendships (For Fun And Profit)

by LostyK



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Kidnapping, Sympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, disturbing imagery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-14
Updated: 2020-04-25
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:41:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23143330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostyK/pseuds/LostyK
Summary: When he realises that Deceit misses Virgil, Remus decides that the best way to cheer him up is to persuade Virgil to come back to the dark side. Too bad Virgil hasn't wanted anything to do with them since he left.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Comments: 216
Kudos: 580
Collections: TSS Fanworks Collective





	1. Step One: Identify The Problem

Remus could tell that Deceit was upset.

It had taken him a while to realise it, because Deceit was not one to be upset. Or, more accurately, Deceit was not one to show that he was upset. He could be angry, could be irritated, could be frustrated or exasperated, but he was never just upset.

But you didn’t spend all of your life (or at least, the parts where you were _you_ , rather than youandyourbrother) around someone without learning to tell when something was wrong. So Remus knew that Deceit was upset, and he also knew that it wasn’t just annoyance over his plans for the call back failing.

Remus wasn’t overly bothered about figuring out _what_ was upsetting Deceit – although if Deceit were to point him in the right direction, he would happily destroy whatever it was. He just wanted to make Deceit better.

Because Deceit was his friend, and friends made each other feel better when they were upset. That way they wouldn’t just _leave_ and go find new friends that didn’t keep hiding under their bed and grabbing their ankles at night. Not that Remus knew _why_. Getting scared sometimes kept you on your toes. Prepared you for if giant man eating rats were under there.

(Remus had _tried_ to explain this to Virgil, but that had just resulted in Virgil refusing to sleep in his bed for a week, until Deceit had gotten fed up of trying to sit down on the couch only to get hissed at.)

So here Remus was, knocking on Deceit’s door, ready with a plan to cheer him up.

Deceit opened the door, took in Remus’s grin (which sometimes ended up slightly too wide for his face), and sighed. “I’m certain I can’t wait to see what you’re so happy about.”

“Oh, good,” Remus said, “Come with me!”

Deceit followed, because Deceit was the best like that, but hesitated when they reached the entrance to the Imagination.

“Where are we going?” Deceit asked.

“It’s a surprise,” Remus said. “Come, on, you’ll love it.”

“Why am I not convinced?” Deceit said, but still followed him in.

Around them, the Imagination twisted and turned before settling in to the cave Remus had been working on.

He’d spent all day there, trying to get it _perfect_. The cave was wonderfully dark and dank, with blood dripping from the ceiling for extra effect. There was still a dim light to it, because it was no fun if you couldn’t _see_ what was going on, but Remus hadn’t bothered to create a light source so it just glowed across the whole cave. Several tunnels branched off from the main chamber, each pitch black. In the middle of the cave was a sword.

It was a good sword. It was the kind of sword that Roman would cream himself over, with a golden hilt inlaid by jewels (yellow, of course).

In short, it was the perfect place to disembowel monsters until you felt better.

Remus watched as Deceit took it all in.

“Is this what you wanted me to see?” Deceit asked.

Remus shrugged. “Sorta.”

Deceit opened his mouth to ask what he meant, which was the exact moment Remus shoved Deceit further inside the cave, and snapped his fingers so that an iron grate came down between them.

Deceit steadied himself, and glared at Remus. “Remus, let me out.”

Remus shook his head. “Sorry, DeeDee, can’t.”

Deceit eyed up the iron grate, and then sighed. “Fine, what do you want?”

“What I _want_ is for you to have some fun. Let out some stress!”

Remus clicked his fingers again, and in one of the tunnels, something howled.

Deceit’s eyes widened. “Remus-“

He wasn’t able to say anymore before the creature burst out of the tunnel.

Remus had put a lot of thought into the creatures he’d created for this moment, and Remus was _good_ at coming up with monsters. This one was an amalgamation of some of Remus’ hits; the head of the ferocious dragon he used to scare Roman with, the body and tail of a manticore. He’d toned down the venom in its scorpion-like tail, though, so it just stung, rather than killing you painfully.

Deceit didn’t seem to be overly concerned by the mastery of Remus’ work, however, instead backing away until his back hit the metal grate behind him. Remus wondered whether this was some tactic he wasn’t familiar with, or if Deceit really was that bad at this.

As the beast moved closer, Remus decided that tactic or not, there was no harm in giving Deceit some help. He waved his hand, and sent the sword flying into Deceit’s grasp. Luckily, Deceit was able to catch it by the hilt; otherwise things could have gotten messy.

Deceit’s grip on the sword was uncertain, but he still stepped forward towards the approaching monster (dragon-manticore? Dragoncore? Mantigon? Remus would have to brainstorm). The monster leaped, and Deceit rolled away to the side. The monster turned and growled, and Deceit stumbled back a few steps.

“Remus,” Deceit snarled, “As soon as I get out I am going to _kill_ you.”

“That’s the spirit!” Remus cheered.

He supposed that hunting someone for sport might possibly work just as well as killing monsters as stress relief. Remus would have to try that sometime. Maybe with the Light sides.

The monster moved to strike again, but this time Deceit was quicker, darting in and stabbing its neck with the sword. He managed to sink the sword in quite far – Remus was impressed with his arm strength. The creature howled, and staggered away. It didn’t get far, however, before it collapsed, twitching on the ground.

That was the other thing about Remus’ creations – they took _forever_ to die. Roman’s tended to die quickly and easily, and then dissolve away into dust. _Boring_. What was the point of fighting something, if you weren’t prepared for the gore that came with it?

Deceit walked towards the creature. It looked up at him with wild, scared eyes, but was too injured to move away. He turned back to face Remus.

“Are you going to let me out now?” Deceit snapped.

Remus considered. “I don’t know. Are you feeling calmer?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Deceit growled.

“You know, I don’t think I believe you,” Remus said.

Deceit just glared and said nothing, so Remus continued.

“This really is for your own good, you know. You’ve been so _stressed_ lately! You need to let off some steam. And let out some entrails.”

Remus summoned another monster. This one had the head of a lion and the body of a sphinx. When Remus was finished making it, it had just looked like a regular lion, so Remus had given it the ability to breathe fire for good measure.

Deceit pulled the sword out of the first monsters neck (which made a wonderful _squelch_ ing sound), and turned to face the fire-breathing lion. This time, he didn’t wait for the monster to come to him, instead charging out to meet it. Good, he was getting the hang of things.

Of course, charging straight towards a creature which could _breathe fire_ wasn’t always a good idea, which became apparent when Deceit nearly got to it. The creature let out a roar, and fire sprung from its mouth. Deceit rolled out of the way, except that he rolled the wrong way, and ended up way too close to his claws.

Before Deceit had a chance to react, the lion struck. Deceit was able to twist so that the lion wasn’t able to rip out his stomach, but it did rake its claws across Deceits side. Deceit cried out, and dropped the sword so that he could wrap his arm around the wound. Another strike took out his legs, and sent him collapsed to the ground. He was able to lift himself into a crouch, and raised his arms in front of his face, as if that could shield him from the fire Remus knew the lion was about to produce.

Remus didn’t even bother to rush in. He wouldn’t have time to get across the cave to Deceit anyway, and then the lion would burn Deceit alive, and Deceit would scream as his flesh bubbled and burnt away.

Instead, Remus just waved a hand, and the lion (and the dying manticore-dragon) disappeared.

Deceit lowered his arms and looked around, before his eyes locked on Remus. His eyes were filled with something that Remus hadn’t seen on Deceit’s face before, and it took Remus a moment to realise that it was _fear_.

Oh, Remus had scared Deceit before. But that was the surprise at something jumping out at you in the dark, there for a moment, and then gone when you realised there was no danger. Or it anticipation of what Remus would do next – worry, not for Deceit’s own safety, but for the mess that Remus would cause. Never had Deceit looked at him as though he thought Remus might _hurt_ him.

He looked like that now, though.

Remus’s mouth was suddenly dry. He grabbed at the edges of the imagination and pushed it away, so that they were standing in their living room. Remus on one side, Deceit still crouched on the other, even though his injuries had faded as soon as they’d left the imagination.

“Dee?” Remus asked, and he took a step forward.

Deceit flinched back, just once, before he straightened and rose to his feet. His face was an impassive mask. He crossed his arms, and it looked slightly too defensive on him.

“Are you done now?” Deceit asked. “Or should I expect more attacks when I least suspect it?”

Remus swallowed and shook his head. His stomach was twisting uncomfortably. “I’m not going to attack you.”

“How wonderful,” Deceit snapped. “And I don’t suppose you’ll tell me _why_ you decided to put you through that in the first place?”

“I-,” Remus began, but Deceit interrupted him by snapping his fingers.

“Wait, I’ve got it!” he said, faux-cheery. “This is about your failure with Thomas, isn’t it?” Deceit laughed. “You can hardly blame me for _your_ failure to do _your job_. But then again, you never _were_ very good at it, were you?”

Remus swallowed down the hurt at Deceits words. He told himself that Deceit didn’t mean them, but then, how could he tell for sure? Deceit lied so much that sometimes Remus wasn’t sure what Deceit believed and what he didn’t.

“It’s not about Thomas,” Remus said. His voice was far too quiet than it should be, but Remus couldn’t seem to summon his usual noise.

“Oh?” Deceit asked.

“It’s about you,” Remus said, and Deceit’s face darkened. “You’re miserable.”

“Miserable,” Deceit echoed.

Remus nodded. “So I decided to cheer you up!” At Deceit’s stare Remus felt like he was shrinking into himself. “Killing things always works for me.”

“You… were trying to cheer me up.” Deceit sounded incredulous, but Remus nodded.

“Well,” Deceit said, falteringly, as if he wasn’t sure what to say next. “Thank you for your concern. But you’re wrong. I’m not upset.”

Sometimes, Deceit’s lies could be incredibly obvious.

“Please,” Remus said. “You’re acting mopier than Virgil.”

At the mention of Virgil’s name, Deceit’s face somehow closed off even more.

The beginnings of Deceit’s mood had coincided with him first showing himself to the light sides. Remus had dismissed it as a coincidence – surely none of the light sides would be capable of _hurting_ Deceit, but that was also the first time Deceit had spoken to Virgil in years. Possibly since Virgil had left.

“This is about Virgil,” Remus realised.

Deceit scowled. “Of course not,” he snapped, but Remus was on the scent now, like a dog about to tear apart a baby bunny.

“Wow,” Remus said. “You must _really_ hate him.”

For a moment, Deceit looked surprised, but then his face became impassive again. “Can you blame me?” Deceit asked.

Remus hums. “Well, if fighting monsters didn’t work, we could always go torment Virgil. That’ll cheer you up.”

“I’d rather not see him for a while,” Deceit said.

Remus frowned. Something about Deceit was _off_.

“Well,” Remus offered, “ _I_ could go torment him for you.”

“No!” Deceit snapped, before seeming to realise what he’d just said. “I mean, don’t bother,” Deceit said, calmer. “My plan for revenge will come to fruition soon enough.”

“What plan for-?”

“I need to leave,” Deceit said, cutting over Remus. “I have… cunning schemes to work on.”

And then, Deceit left the room, and Remus was certain that he was trying to make it look like he wasn’t fleeing.

Remus sank into his room, and hummed thoughtfully. Something was going on with Deceit, but he couldn’t quite figure out what.

He decided to review the evidence, the way Logic would.

First, Deceit was upset. So upset, even a chance to disembowel monsters couldn’t cheer him up.

Second, he was upset because Virgil.

Third, he didn’t want Remus to do anything to Virgil. 

That last part was the strange part. After Virgil had left, Deceit had been furious. Of course he had, Virgil had always been Deceits favourite – they worked well together, after all, self-preservation and anxiety. Virgil would tell Thomas what would make him a target, and Deceit would keep them hidden, covering them over with lies if need be.

Remus had never quite managed to fit in to what Virgil and Deceit had. He’d tried, sometimes, and Virgil and Deceit didn’t seem to mind having him around, but Remus always managed to be too much.

Too loud, or too scary. Too committed to his job, that ran in opposition to the others. Sometimes, Remus had wondered if he should just _leave_ and find somewhere else to do his job from.

But then Virgil had been the one to leave. He’d gone to the Light Sides, to Remus’ _brother_ , who Remus and Virgil used to be able to bitch about together.

Remus hadn’t cared. Virgil was never that fun anyway. And as the months passed, Deceit seemed to get over it. Virgil stopped being enemy number one, and started being just another potential obstacle to Deceit’s plans.

So why was Deceit so upset now?

And why didn’t he act angry?

The answer hit Remus like a ton of bricks falling on an unsuspecting passer-by and killing them instantly. Deceit wasn’t angry that Virgil had left, he was sad.

Deceit _missed_ Virgil.

Well, that made everything so much easier. Remus could cheer Deceit up, and make up for the whole monster mess. All he had to do was get Virgil back.

And really, when Virgil only had the goody-two-shoes light sides and (ugh) Roman for company, how hard could that be?


	2. Step Two: Invite Them To Spend Time With You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for the support on the last chapter!
> 
> Heads up that this chapter contains: disturbing thoughts, imagined character death, and kidnapping.

Remus popped into Virgil’s room near midnight.

Before, Virgil’s room had been one of Remus’ favourite places; the sense of dread _really_ got his blood pumping, and it helped give him so many wonderful ideas. It hadn’t changed much since then, it was still dark and covered with cobwebs, but one of the walls was painted purple now, and Virgil had stuck glow in the dark stars on the ceiling.

Virgil himself hadn’t noticed Remus yet; he was still sat on his bed, looking at his laptop with his head phones on. His fingers tapped against his bed sheets along to the music he was listening to. Remus had never seen him look so relaxed.

Usually, this kind of scene would make Remus want to throw something, or smash something, or just start screaming so that there would be _something_ happening. Now, though, Remus felt oddly transfixed watching Virgil.

Then Virgil looked up, saw Remus, screamed, and threw his laptop.

Remus dodged the laptop, and it shattered on the ground behind him. “Is that how you greet people now?” he asked. “Should I throw something back?” 

As he spoke, Virgil shot off his bed so that he was standing on the other side of it to Remus. He glared. “What the hell do you want?”

It was a relief to see that Virgil was still acting normal.

“I just want to talk!” Remus said brightly. “You know, catch up. It’s been forever!”

Virgil stared. “We saw each other last week.”

Remus frowned. “That’s what I said.”

Virgil crossed his arms over his chest. “We have nothing to talk about,” he said coldly.

“Aw, don’t be like that,” Remus said. “What about old times?”

That, it turned out, was the wrong thing to say.

“Old times?” Virgil snapped. “You mean how you terrorised me for years? Or how you kicked me out for finding people who cared about me? Or, hey, how about when you made me tell Thomas about how I used to be one of you?”

Remus stared at Virgil. His chest suddenly felt tight, like a tentacle was wrapping around it, threatening to crush him until he asphyxiated. He wanted to say something, to protest that he hadn’t _terrorised_ Virgil; that they didn’t kick him out, they’d just given Virgil a choice and Virgil had chosen to _leave_.

But Remus couldn’t seem to do anything. It was as if Virgil was a gorgon and Remus was turned to stone.

Virgil was still glaring. “Well? What _exactly_ do you want us to talk about?”

“Come back,” Remus blurted.

Virgil faltered. “What?”

“Come back,” Remus repeated. “Come live with me and Dee again. He misses you.”

Virgil shook his head. He seemed to be having trouble processing what Remus had said, which was a fairly normal reaction to Remus, come to think of it.

“Deceit doesn’t miss me,” he said at last. “He just misses having someone to control.”

“That’s not true,” Remus protested.

Virgil glared. “Deceit never cared about me. Neither of you did.” He seemed to be growing more sure of himself now. “The light sides- they care about me. They _help_ me. I don’t need you anymore.”

Remus frowned. He took a step forward, and Virgil took a step back.

“I’m **not going back** ,” Virgil snarled.

Remus halted. Virgil’s breathing had turned heavy and fast, and he was glaring at Remus. Remus swallowed. Then, he fixed a smile on to his face.

“Fine!” he said. “Not like you’re any fun now, anyway.”

He didn’t quite leave Virgil’s room fast enough to miss the look of relief on Virgil’s face.

Back in his own room, Remus sank to the floor. That had gone terrible. Like a train wreck, except train wrecks were fun, with lots of fire and smoke and dead bodies. So not so much like a train wreck then.

Maybe he should just leave Virgil alone to his perfect life with his perfect friends. But, no, Remus had decided he was going to get Virgil back, and Remus didn’t give up when he’d decided something. That would just be admitting that his idea was unrealistic.

If Virgil didn’t want to remember how good things had been with them, then Remus would just have to find a way to _make_ him remember.

Which was how Remus ended up in the light sides’ living room with duct tape, a bundle of rope, and a fool proof plan.

The sides – all four of them - were in the kitchen, which meant all Remus had to do was wait until Virgil and then follow him out and surprise him.

It wouldn’t be long. Virgil _always_ left group activities first.

Laughter and voices drifted from the kitchen, his brother’s voice carrying above the rest, though Remus couldn’t hear what he was saying. They were doing something together – baking maybe? Whatever. Remus didn’t care.

Time passed. Virgil didn’t come out when Remus expected him to. That was strange. Virgil was always anxious and ready to leave when around other people, but Remus could hear his quiet laughter.

As he waited, Remus let his imagination wander. What would happen if he walked into the kitchen? The others would probably yell at him, and try to make him leave. It’d be fun enough in the moment, sure, but he’d get bored fast. What about if he grabbed one of the knives and started stabbing someone – not Roman, he’d just fight back. Not Virgil, either, he’d probably see it coming. Logan or Patton then. Stabbing Logan _would_ be satisfying, except it probably wouldn’t have much of an effect. Nothing he tried to do to Logan would.

Maybe it would have an effect on Patton – Patton did get _very_ upset about all of Remus’s ideas. Maybe Remus would be able to make Patton bleed. Maybe Patton would _die_. Now _that_ would be interesting.

Roman would probably cry – he was dramatic like that. Yeah, Roman would cry and hold Patton to his chest and swear revenge against Remus. Then he’d probably run Remus through with his sword, and wouldn’t even have to feel guilty about it later.

Logan – Logan was harder to predict. He kept going on about not feeling things, so Remus wasn’t sure if he’d cry. He’d probably help Roman get revenge, though.

Virgil would _definitely_ cry. And get revenge – maybe he’d even get there before Roman did, and kill Remus while Roman was still holding Patton.

Virgil would hate him, and never want to see him again.

Which wasn’t that different from now, actually.

Thinking about that wasn’t so fun anymore.

Logan left the kitchen then, and Remus had to scramble to hide behind the television in time. Okay, so maybe he should have been paying more attention to his surroundings.

For a moment, Remus panicked – had Virgil already left? He had to get to Virgil before he reached his room, otherwise Virgil would be too powerful. But no, he could definitely hear Virgil’s voice from back in the kitchen.

Logan didn’t linger in the living room, instead crossing straight through it without bothering to look to closely, and heading upstairs. A few moments later, Patton and Roman followed him.

Which made Virgil the last one to leave.

Well, that worked in Remus’ favour. He summoned his tentacles and moved into the kitchen.

Virgil hadn’t seen him; he was looking in the opposite direction, a small smile on his face.

Remus darted out a tentacle and wrapped it around Virgil. Virgil cried out and started struggling, but Remus just pulled Virgil to him. Virgil’s eyes widened when he saw Remus.

“Ro-“ Virgil began to shout, but Remus quickly slapped another tentacle over Virgil’s mouth, muffling his cries.

Remus pushed Virgil to the ground and quickly tied his hands and feet, then tied his arms to his sides, so that he couldn’t flail them around. Virgil glared up at him, still trying to speak around the tentacle.

“Aw, don’t be like that, Virgie,” Remus said, and patted him on the cheek.

Virgil somehow managed to glare harder.

With a shrug, Remus transported them both back to the dark side, and only once they were both there did he remove the tentacle from Virgil’s mouth, letting it disappear with the others he’d conjured.

“What the _fuck_ ,” Virgil spat as soon as he was able. He pushed himself back, away from Remus, until his back hit the sofa.

Remus looked around to see where Deceit was, but he must have been in his room. Virgil struggled against his bonds.

“Let me go,” Virgil was snarling. “The others are going to notice I’m gone- they’ll come looking.”

“Dee!” Remus called, ignoring Virgil. “I have a present for you.”

In the corner of his eye, Virgil stopped struggling and fell silent.

Upstairs, a door closed, and footsteps sounded towards the stairs.

“I truly hope it’s another body part,” Deceit called, a mix of amused and exasperated.

Remus glanced contemplatively at Virgil, who had drawn his legs up close to his chest, eyes wide and fixed on the staircase. “I mean, technically it _contains_ body parts.”

Deceit descended halfway down the stairs then froze, eyes fixed on Virgil.

“Remus,” he said calmly. “What is Virgil doing here?”

Remus grinned and threw his arms out wide. “Surprise! I got you Virgil.”

“I can see that,” Deceit said, walking slowly to the bottom of the stairs. “ _Why_ have you decided to kidnap Virgil?”

“Because you miss him.” Really, shouldn’t it be obvious? Deceit was supposed to be the smart one. “And when I _asked_ him to come back he said no. But then I figured we could just keep him locked up one of the spare rooms. It’ll be just like old times!”

“Fuck that,” Virgil spat, struggling again. “You are _not_ keeping me here.”

Deceit glanced at Remus. “I certainly have the same memories of old times as you do,” he said, then shifted his focus to Virgil. “Are you hurt?”

Virgil went still. He gaped at Deceit. “What?”

“Are you hurt?” he repeated. “Remus can certainly be… gentle without meaning to.”

“Hey!” Remus protested, more at the gentle thing than at what Deceit _actually_ meant.

Virgil was silent for a long time, watching Deceit in confusion, while Deceit watched him back, expression unreadable.

“No,” Virgil muttered at last, looking away.

“Well then,” Deceit said, and strode towards Virgil.

Virgil pushed himself into the sofa as much as he could, hissing. “Don’t touch me.”

Deceit stopped in front of Virgil and crouched down, so that they were eye to eye. “I am about to commit some nefarious action, of course,” he said. “You should definitely be afraid.”

Virgil eyed Deceit warily but didn’t move.

Deceit summoned two extra pairs of hands. One pair reached round to untie his hands, another his feet, and the final pair untied the rope wrapped around his arms and torso. Once they were done, Deceit withdrew, standing up and taking a few steps back.

Virgil watched Deceit suspiciously, rubbing at his wrists.

Remus gaped. “What are you doing? He’s going to escape.”

“Really?” Deceit said. “I hadn’t thought about that. Thank god you are here, Remus, or I don’t know what I would do.” He sounded pissed.

“You’re the one who _wanted_ Virgil back,” Remus protested.

Deceit glanced at Virgil, who looked as confused as Remus. His jaw twitched. “Not like this,” he said, quietly, and then looked at Remus and continued, in his normal tone. “We don’t have the _time_ for one of us to constantly guard him. And if we leave him unsupervised, you know he’ll escape.”

Virgil smirked.

“And do you _really_ want to face the light sides?” Deceit asked. “Or give them more ammunition to use to turn against Thomas.”

“But-“

Virgil stood up, and Remus fell silent. His eyes darted between Remus and Deceit. He opened his mouth as if he was going to say something, but then he just closed it and disappeared.

Remus turned his attention back to Deceit, who was still looking at the spot where Virgil had stood, jaw tight.

“You were lying,” Remus realised.

Deceit jumped slightly, as if he’d forgotten Remus was there. “I’m always lying,” he said. “Do you disagree with what I said?”

Remus shrugged. “You’re smart enough to figure out a way to get around all that. If you wanted to keep him, you would have.”

“Trying to _keep_ him didn’t work last time,” Deceit said. “And you should leave him alone.”

Remus scowled. “But you’re _upset_. Why would you do something that makes you upset?”

Deceit shook his head. “Despite what your _brother_ likes to think, not everything has a happy ending. Why fight for something that is never going to happen?”

Remus wanted to keep arguing with him, but the look Deceit sent told him not to. Instead, he did nothing as Deceit left the room in silence.

 _Well_ , he thought, standing alone in the living room. _This is going to be harder than I though_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm also on tumblr! sparrow-flies-south.tumblr.com


	3. Step Three: Seek Outside Advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had hoped to get this up yesterday, but this fic is proving a challenge to write. Which is very much a good thing, but does mean I have to take my time over it sometimes. 
> 
> I originally planned for this chapter and the next one to be combined, but figured the pacing works better with them separate, so they are slightly shorter than the previous two.

When it came to dealing with touchy-feely bullshit, one side was the clear expert.

He found Patton in the kitchen, pulling a tray of cookies from the oven. When he turned around, he startled and almost dropped the tray, but Remus caught it with a tentacle before it could hit the ground. Patton blinked at him from behind his glasses.

“Oh! Uh, thanks, Kiddo.” He hesitantly took the tray, and then tipped the cookies on to a wire rack.

They stared at each other.

“I was just about to decorate these,” Patton blurted. “I know, I should probably let them cool first, but I figured I could just cool them myself, you know.” He wriggled his fingers. “Did you, um, did you want to join me?”

Remus frowned. “Are you… inviting me to decorate cookies with you?”

That couldn’t possibly be right. Maybe it was a trick? But Deceit always said Patton hated lying.

Patton shrugged, blushing. “Sure? I mean, if you want to? You don’t have to, if you’re doing something. Which you probably are, for you to come up here. Uh, did you need something?”

Well, he wasn’t yelling at Remus to leave, which was… probably good. And he wasn’t accusing Remus of kidnapping Virgil (although, really, that was such a strong word). Maybe Virgil hadn’t told the others about what happened, whatever that meant.

“Why are you being nice?” Remus asked.

Patton frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You hate me. Why are you acting like you want me around?”

Patton looked away, fidgeting with the oven glove that he was still holding. “I don’t… approve of _all_ of your ideas. Or all of the things you do. But you’re a part of Thomas. So why not try to make the most of it, you know?”

Remus didn’t reply. It sounded like Patton was resigned to Remus being around, which was better than nothing, but Remus’s chest felt like someone had scooped out his insides.

Patton frowned. “Kiddo? Are you alright?”

“How do you get people to be friends again?” Remus asked, because he didn’t know what else to say.

Patton looked surprised. “What do you mean?”

“Say two people used to be close – _really_ close. But now they’re not. How do you get them to be friends?”

Patton hesitated. “There’s no one way. It depends on the situation.” He waved a hand and icing supplies appeared on the counter. “Here. We can talk and decorate.”

Patton selected a cookie and began icing it. After a moment of consideration, Remus picked up a person shaped one and grabbed the red icing.

“So, these people,” Patton said. “Do you know why they stopped being friends?”

“One of them found new friends. I guess he didn’t need the other person anymore.”

Patton frowned. “Well, I’m not doubting you, but it sounds like there might be more of it than that. Did you- I mean, did those people have a fight?”

Remus shrugged.

He didn’t know how the fight started. By the time he’d arrived, Virgil had yelling about how much _better_ the light sides were, and how _good_ it felt to be around them. The louder Virgil got, the quieter and colder Deceit became. Finally, Deceit had told Virgil that if he liked the light sides so much, he could live with them instead.

Even after Virgil had stormed off, Deceit still seemed to expect Virgil to come back.

“That can’t have been the only thing,” Remus said. “Otherwise he wouldn’t have left.”

Patton hummed. “Do you know why he felt he had to leave?”

Remus focused on decorating his man. “I guess the other one is just – hard to be around.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.” Patton scolded gently. “Maybe you should try to understand things from the other persons point of view. Have you tried talking to them?”

“Yes. I told him that he should come back. He didn’t want to listen.”

“Well, were you willing to listen to him?”

Remus hesitated. “So, what, if they just talked about how they feel it would fix everything?”

“Maybe not _everything_ ,” Patton admitted. “And not straight away. But it’d be a start. And – they probably want to fix things too.”

Neither Virgil nor Deceit seemed interested in talking, but maybe they just didn’t realise _what_ they wanted. All Remus had to do was give them a push to talk to each other.

Remus grinned. “I think your right,” he said.

Patton shifted nervously at Remus’s smile, which had too many teeth. “Oh, good. I’m glad.”

“Here,” Remus said, and handed Patton the cookie.

Patton glanced down at it. Remus was proud of the job he’d done of it, and judging by the queasiness on Patton’s face, he’d got the entrails spot on.

“It’s very… creative,” Patton settled on, and Remus beamed.

“That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

Patton’s face fell, even though there was nothing wrong. Maybe he just got sad sometimes, the way Remus sometimes got the urge to destroy something.

“We could do this again, if you wanted.” Patton offered.

“Yeah, maybe.” Remus said dismissively, because he didn’t want Patton to go around think he _cared_. “Thanks for the help.”

“Anytime, kiddo.” Patton smiled gently. “I really hope things work out for you.”

Remus sank out quickly. Because he was busy, of course. It had nothing to do with the way Patton’s smile made him feel all (ugh) _gooey_ inside.

Remus tilted his head as he stepped back to admire the closet he’d created. It _looked_ fine, but Remus couldn’t be sure. He’d thought the monsters were fine, too, but Deceit hadn’t like them. And who knew what Virgil liked, now that he’d been spending so much time around Roman. Probably princesses and unicorns.

“I should warn you,” a voice said, “I’ve made all the ‘coming out of the closet’ jokes known to man.”

Remus turned, and then froze. Roman stood behind him, his outfit perfect as always, though it did look out of place in Remus’s side of the imagination. He shifted uneasily from foot to foot, and one hand tapped nervously on his sword hilt. Scared of his big bad brother, then.

“Only the ones known to man?” Remus responded. “You must lack imagination.”

Strangely enough, Roman didn’t get offended. Instead, he seemed to relax, even going as far as to smile. He stepped forward until he stood next to Remus, their shoulders almost touching.

“It’s creepy,” Roman said, inspecting the closet.

Remus groaned. “I was going for _inviting._ ”

Roman snorted. “Inviting for whom? The monster under the bed?”

“Like _you_ could do better,” Remus shot back.

Roman tilted his head, his eyes narrowing with determination.

“All right then,” he said. He waved a hand, and a string of fairy lights lined the inside walls of the closet. After a moment’s consideration, cushions appeared on the floor to complete the look.

“I could do better if I knew who it was for,” Roman said, “But I think I did okay, don’t you?”

He was right. The closet now looked less like something from a serial killers murder house and more like a place where someone would go voluntarily. Still, it wasn’t like Remus could _tell_ Roman that.

“It’s fine,” he said. “Could do with more severed body parts, though.”

“Strangely enough, body parts aren’t what most people would consider homely.” Roman didn’t seem disgusted. When Remus glanced over, he looked amused.

“What’s it for, anyway?” Roman asked.

“Trapping people inside,” Remus answered, and at the frown on Roman’s face, he added “For their own good!”

Roman shook his head. “I’m not going to ask, and that way no one can blame me.”

“Sounds like you’ve been taking lessons from Deceit.”

The two of them lapsed into silence. Remus shifted uncomfortably. Asking what Roman was doing here might break the fragile peace that was currently settled between them. It had been years since the last conversation that hadn’t ended with one of them stabbing or bludgeoning the other.

“I talked to Patton.” Roman looked fixedly at the closet as he spoke. “He mentioned you stopped by earlier.”

Something twisted in Remus’s gut, and he laughed bitterly. _Of course_. “So you came to warn me off.”

Why else would Roman be on the other side of the imagination? Remus should have expected it, but Patton had _said_ he could stay.

“What? No. He said you were… behaved.”

Remus bared his teeth at Roman in a mockery of a grin. “Jealous? Don’t worry, darling brother; wet blankets aren’t fun to play with.”

Roman scowled. “Must you be terrible to everyone? I’m _trying_ to have a nice conversation.”

“Nice isn’t really in my nature. That’s what you have the others for.”

“It _could_ be, you know,” Roman pointed out.

“Pretty sure it _can’t_ , actually,” he hissed. “You took all the nice with you parts with you; I’m just what’s left over. So let’s just go back to pretending the other one doesn’t exist. I’ll be _much_ happier if I don’t have to think about you anymore.”

Roman took a step back, his jaw twitching. Remus wasn’t sure whether he regretted saying that or not. At least now maybe Roman would attack him. You knew where you stood in a sword fight.

“Fine,” Roman said, and were his eyes shining? That didn’t make any sense, Remus must be hallucinating.

“Clearly Patton was mistaken when he said you wanted to talk to me, so I’ll just…” Roman trailed off, and hunched his shoulders slightly. “Goodbye, Remus.”

And then Roman was gone. He’d left many times before, after arguments both physical and verbal, after Remus took things too far and he got fed up. Something about this time, however, seemed strangely final.

Remus shook himself. He had plans to make and friendships to mend. He didn’t need a brother.

He still kept the changes Roman had made, though. It was better than anything Remus could come up with, after all.


	4. Step Four: Encourage Open And Honest Communication

Deceit could pick up on a lie like a cadaver dog scenting a rotting corpse. Trying to trick him into doing something was a fool’s errand. He was also familiar enough with Remus’s antics to know not to investigate any doors that might suddenly appear in front of him.

(Virgil had clearly gone soft on the light side. _His_ reaction to a strange door appearing had been to _walk right up_ to investigate it. It was as if he _wanted_ to be shoved inside.)

No, when dealing with Deceit, it was best to be direct.

“Go through that door,” Remus said, as soon as Deceit stepped out of his room.

“Absolutely not,” Deceit replied immediately.

Remus pouted. “Why not?”

Deceit sighed and rubbed his temples. “Does it lead to a cave with a monster?” he asked. “Or do you have someone else tied up? Logan, perhaps.”

“Why would I wanted to kidnap _Logan_?” Remus asked.

Deceit stared him down.

“Fine!” Remus threw his hands up in the air. “I’m trying to lock you in a closet. To help you.”

Deceit blinked. “That… is exactly what I expected your plan to be. Is the closet a metaphor?”

“No.”

“Does it contain a bottomless pit? A portal to a hell dimension?”

“No and no.”

“Is this a coup?”

“Has anyone ever told you you’re paranoid?”

“ _Remus_.”

“If I tell you what’s in there, you’ll say no,” Remus complained.

“Which means I should say no regardless.”

Remus groaned. “I’ll pay you to go in there.”

“Currency has no real values other than what we assign it,” Deceit said. “The only reason a piece of paper is worth, say, $100 is because everyone agrees it does.”

“No money then,” Remus said, because he knew Deceit could go on a rant for hours if allowed to. “There must be _something_ you want.”

Deceit considered. “Leave my stuff alone for two months.”

“One month!”

Deceit made a show of opening his door.

“Two months, yeesh. Can I trap you in a small confined space now?”

Deceit sighed, but stepped up to the door. “I’m going to regret this, aren’t I?”

“Maybe at first, but then you’ll love it.”

Remus flung open the door, and threw Deceit inside before locking it again.

The closet wasn’t _really_ in the corridor. It existed in a pocket of the imagination, but Remus could summon the door wherever he wanted. He kept the door up so he could listen in.

The doorknob jiggled, and Deceit sighed. “What _exactly_ is the point of this?”

“What are _you_ doing here?” Virgil said from further in the closet.

Someone started banging on the door.

“Remus!” Deceit shouted. “Let us out of here?”

Over the noise, Remus was only just able to hear Virgil say, “Wait, you’re not behind this?”

“Why yes, Virgil, I woke up this morning with the urge to trap myself in a small space with someone who hates my guts.”

Well, Deceit wasn’t being very optimistic. Still, it gave Virgil the chance to tell Deceit the truth.

“The door won’t budge,” Virgil said. “I already tried.”

“ _Remus_!” Deceit shouted.

“He’s probably not even listening.”

“Do _you_ have any better ideas?” Deceit snapped.

Virgil didn’t respond. The banging continued.

Remus had hoped they’d be talking to each other by now, not ignoring each other. He sat on the floor. This was going to take a while.

“Deceit, stop!” Virgil cried out, after a few minutes of banging had passed.

“What?” Deceit snarled.

“Your hands.” Virgil sounded closer, like he was right next to the door.

“Oh,” Deceit said quietly.

There was a moment of silence, and then Virgil said gruffly, “Whatever. Break your knuckles if you want, I don’t care.”

Silence.

“Virgil,” Deceit began, and then stopped. “What if I told you I might know a way out?”

“I’d wonder why you didn’t mention it before.”

“Because I enjoy slamming my fists in to a door, of course. But I’m just thrilled about what my idea entails.”

“God, I forgot how annoying you are,” Virgil muttered. “Fine, what’s your plan?”

“It’s simple. We do what Remus wants us to do. He must have put us in here for a reason, after all.”

“Remus could want anything,” Virgil pointed out. “That doesn’t help us much.”

“And as someone who _lives_ with him, I certain have no idea what he could possibly want.” Deceit sighed. “He wants us to… talk to each other.” He sounded as if each word pained him to say.

“Just tell me what he really wants, asshole,” Virgil snapped.

“Unfortunately, I’m telling the complete truth.”

Well, at least they were talking, even if it wasn’t from a desire to confess how they truly felt.

“Fuck that,” Virgil said.

Or not.

“Of course,” Deceit replied. “Your grudge against me is far more important than us getting out of here.”

Remus could practically _smell_ Virgil’s glare. “Grudge? You lied to me, you _manipulated_ me, and when I stopped putting up with your shit, you _kicked me out_. It’s more than just a _grudge_.”

“You could have come back at any time,” Deceit responded. “You were just too busy with your new friends.”

“Because they care about me! They don’t see me as some – some pawn to manipulate.”

Deceit laughed. “Of course. They’ve always had your back. Always seen the best in you.”

“Maybe they would have, if _you_ hadn’t gotten into my head. Made me think I had to be an asshole to everyone.”

“It must be very convenient to have someone to cast the villain. Makes it a lot easier to ignore your own mistakes.”

Remus shifted uncomfortably. This wasn’t going according to plan.

“I know I made mistakes. But when I decided to change, _you_ tried to stop me.”

“Because you shouldn’t have had to change! You were _strong_. If the others didn’t listen to you, if Thomas didn’t listen to you, you _made_ them listen. Now look at you.”

“Why does it matter how strong I am!”

Remus pulled the closet door open. Deceit and Virgil were standing so close to each other they were nearly touching, both glaring. Deceits hands were clenched, and there were spots of red on the knuckles of his gloves. Neither seemed to have noticed Remus.

“If you had left for power,” Deceit said, his voice like still waters, “I could understand it. Respect it even. Instead you threw away everything, left your family behind, for what? The love of people who only care about you if you play by their rules?”

Virgil took a step back, his body coiled as if he were about to spring. He tightened his jaw, and when he spoke, he didn’t look away from Deceit. “You’re not my family. You never were.”

Silence seemed to fill the room. Virgil glanced at Remus, and then sunk out.

Deceit stood still, breathing heavily. Then he turned to look at Remus, his face like ice.

“Happy now?” He asked.

Remus shook his head. “Dee, I-“

“I _told_ you to leave Virgil alone,” he snarled. “What good did you think could possibly come from this? Or did you just do it to torment us?”

“I wanted to _help_.”

Deceit laughed. “How could someone like you help? You break everything you touch, and you thought, what, that you could make everything better?”

“I thought if you _talked_ – talking was supposed to _fix things_.”

“Well, we talked!” Deceit said, spreading his arms wide as if he were addressing an audience, and not just Remus. “Have you gotten the message yet? Or are you too _stupid_ to figure it out?”

“That’s not fair,” Remus protested. His eyes burned, why did his eyes burn? “You didn’t even _try_.”

“What’s the point? Even if he did think about coming back, he’d change his mind the moment he spoke to _you_.”

Remus stared, unable to say anything. Deceit was lying, he had to be lying. He’d never said anything about him scaring Virgil off before.

“Did you really think that he _enjoyed_ spending time with you? What could you _possibly_ have to offer, your charming personality? He was terrified of you. He probably attached himself to the light sides so fast just so he could get away from _you_.”

“That’s not true,” Remus said, though it came out weak.

Deceit smiled. “Of course not. Everyone just loves hanging around you, don’t they?”

Remus’s hands clenched into fists. “I wish I’d let the lion eat you,” he said, and vanished into the imagination.

His face felt damp with tears. As if Deceit didn’t already think he was stupid, he just had to go and breakdown. Of course Remus spent so much time with Deceit, he couldn’t even handle the _truth_ , had to have the embodiment of lies tell him.

Something growled. A monster approached out of the darkness, circling him. Remus hadn’t realised he’d summoned one.

He let the creature lunge, but didn’t give it the chance to sink its teeth into his flesh. He brought his mace down quickly on the monsters head, crushing its skull, and the flung the body away.

It didn’t make him feel any better. He summoned another.

That one didn’t make him feel any better either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise things will get better soon.


	5. Step Five:

Remus pushed dark vines out of his way as he strode through the overgrown realm that made up his part of the Imagination. He didn’t know and didn’t care where in the Imagination he was; he just needed to be moving.

He couldn’t go back home, because if he did, Deceit might be there, which would suck, or he might not, which he would be worse. As long as he stayed away, Remus didn’t have to know which one it was. Deceit could be neither there nor not there. Schrodinger’s snake.

Deceit had told him about Schrodinger, long ago. Remus had tried the cat thing out for himself, but the box had just started to smell after a few days. Deceit had shaken his head and tried to explain the concept of thought experiments, while Virgil had yelled about what the cat had ever done to Remus.

Had Virgil been afraid of him even then? Had he lain awake at night and wondered if Remus was planning on trapping _him_ in a box?

Remus couldn’t even say he hadn’t thought of it. He’d thought of most things.

One time, Remus had pulled a prank on Virgil, and for days after, Remus only ever saw him if Deceit was nearby. Another time, Virgil’s sleep schedule had suddenly shifted, and Remus barely saw him at all.

He hadn’t worried about it at the time. Virgil had always been odd, always jumping at shadows, except he wasn’t anymore, so that had been Remus’s fault again.

Stupid Remus, who couldn’t even see when people didn’t want him around.

Remus summoned his mace and struck at the nearest tree. He pulled it out of the bark and swung again, and then again, sending splinters flying as the wood cracked. Finally he stopped, panting, and glared at the mangled mess that he’d made.

The tree was ruined. Maybe he’d even killed it, and it would never see its tree family again. Never bake with its tree friends who were less violent, less scary. Better at being friends, better at being sides, just _better_.

And Remus would have kept him away from that if he could, because Remus was not better, was not good or smart or brave. Remus would have just dragged him down.

The tree, that was.

He let his mace disappear and kept walking, trying to put as much distance between himself and the tree as possible. Maybe if he kept going, he’d go so deep into the imagination that he’d never find a way out; he’d just keep wandering forever. Would everyone forget about him, then? Probably. Or maybe they’d still think of him, once or twice, the mad side who wandered the imagination and snatched away anyone who strayed from the path.

It made a good story. Roman would probably like it.

He was so lost in thought that he almost didn’t notice the great wall of thorns that blocked his way. Somehow, Remus must’ve wandered to the border between his and Roman’s imagination.

He took a few swings at the thorns, for catharsis more than anything else. Remus and Roman would always be able to find each other, but the thorns were there to prevent them from going to each other’s kingdoms by themselves. It probably even worked on Roman, who believed all stories should have rules.

But Remus didn’t care about rules, didn’t believe in uncrossable lines. And suddenly, he wanted to burn something down.

Remus let go of the idea that he had to be human, and let his finger stretch into talons, let the heat that had filled his chest since his argument with Deceit erupt in to fire. Two wings erupted painfully from his back – he’d never quite managed to do that without ripping the skin.

Remus took off, soaring over the thorns. The picture-perfect fields of Roman’s kingdom rolled out beneath him as he flew. Nestled in a valley was a small village, looking like something out of a story book.

Remus swooped down over the village, and released a burst of flame as he passed over the houses. The fire caught quickly on the thatched roofs, and as Remus flew away, he heard screaming from the inhabitants. Remus didn’t bother to see what the people were doing; he just kept flying to the next village, and then the next.

He was halfway through burning down the fourth village when Roman finally appeared, riding on a white steed.

Remus stopped breathing fire, and settled himself in the middle of the village to wait for him.

“Stop, foul beast!” Roman cried as he approached.

Remus just grinned, and Roman brought his horse to a halt, his eyes widening.

_“Remus_?”

Remus’s form twisted again, until he was human once more. He swept one arm beneath him in a bow. “At your service, my dear brother.”

Roman dismounted the horse, and as soon as he did, the horse turned and fled. Roman didn’t seem to notice though, he was too busy glaring at Remus.

“What are you _doing_?” he asked. “Actually, scratch that. What did you do to Virgil?” 

Remus tilted his head. “You really don’t seem to like me talking to your friends. Have you come to defend his honour?”

“I’ve come to tell you to leave him alone. Whatever you’re doing, it ends now.”

Remus had already been planning on doing that, but it wasn’t like Roman would believe him. Besides, he knew an opportunity when he saw one.

“Here’s a better idea,” he said as he summoned a sword. “How about you make me?”

Roman narrowed his eyes and drew his own sword. Remus didn’t wait for Roman to make the first move. He darted forward, swinging, and Roman was barely able to block in time. He swung again, the element of surprise giving Remus the advantage he needed to keep Roman on the defensive.

After a few more unsuccessful strikes, Remus was able to bring Roman to his knees with a savage kick to his legs. He sent the sword flying with a flick of his wrist, and brought the tip of his sword to rest just above Roman’s heart. Roman looked up at him with wide eyes, breathing heavily.

“Remus,” he began to say, but Remus didn’t listen.

He backed off, and grabbed Roman’s sword and tossed it to him.

“Again,” he demanded, and sprung forward.

This time, Remus disarmed Roman even quicker, and left him with a gash on his arm. He stepped away, and threw the sword back to him.

“Again.”

Roman was ready this time, and sent Remus sprawling in the dirt.

“Enough,” Roman said, sheathing his sword, and Remus snarled up at him.

“Again,” he snapped, and launched himself at him.

“Remus, stop this,” Roman begged as he dodged Remus’s blows, but Remus kept coming, kept swinging at Roman, his twin, his mirror image.

Roman disarmed Remus, and Remus waited for him to take a few steps away before throwing himself forward again, not even bothering with his sword.

Roman swore and dropped his own sword. He tackled Remus to the ground and held him there, pinning Remus face down in the dirt.

“I said that’s enough.”

“Shut up!” Remus snarled, as he struggled to get free.

Roman just pressed down tighter. “Remus-.”

“It’s not fair!” Remus spat. “He was my friend first!”

The pressure on his back released slightly, enough for Remus to throw Roman off him. He didn’t attack again, though, and Roman didn’t try to restrain him.

“You got _everything_ ,” Remus continued, unable to stop. “You got the parts everyone wants; you got _Thomas_ , why did you have to take him too?”

“Remus,” Roman said, his voice cracking.

Remus glared at the ground, but Roman didn’t say anything else. The anger faded out of him.

“I won’t bother you again,” Remus said. “Any of you. You can go now.”

Roman let out a noise that sounded like a sob, and Remus began to look over just in time to see Roman throw himself at Remus again. Roman’s arms wrapped around him, and Remus started to fight against the tackled until Roman said into his hair, “It’s a _hug_ you idiot.”

Remus went still. He was crying now, but Roman was too, so maybe that wasn’t a bad thing. He wrapped his arms around Roman, pulling him closer, until they were a tangle of bodies, until it was like they’d become one being again.

“I missed you,” Roman mumbled.

“You barely know me.”

They had both gone their separate ways almost immediately after the split, each pulled to their respective parts of the mind.

“I’ve known you since before you were you,” Roman replied.

Finally, they had to pull away. Roman wiped at his eyes, his tunic stained from the dirt.

“Remus,” Roman said hesitantly, “What _did_ happen with you and Virgil?”

And so Remus told him everything. How Remus, Virgil and Deceit had been friends, how when Virgil had started spending more time with the light sides he’d spent less time with the dark sides. How he’d argued with Deceit more and more, until finally it had all come to a head.

Roman said nothing as Remus spoke, as he moved from the past to more recent events, how Remus had noticed how Deceit was upset, how Deceit missed Virgil, how Remus had tried to bring Virgil back. How Remus had failed.

Roman stayed quiet for a while after Remus finished, until at last he said, “Are you sure Deceit misses him?”

Remus nodded.

Roman shook his head. “I never imagined snake-face could care about people.”

“You never thought I could, either,” Remus pointed out.

Roman got to his feet. Remus watched him, heart sinking. He’d thought Roman might stay longer.

But instead of just walking away, Roman held out his hand, and helped Remus up.

“What are you doing?” Remus asked.

“I think,” Roman said, “That we’re going to need Patton’s help.”

Patton, Roman and Remus sat at the table in the light sides common room as Remus retold his story once again. When Remus was done, Patton smiled sadly at him.

“That wasn’t really what I meant when I said to talk to them,” he said. “Still, I think I need to apologise.”

Remus frowned. “Why?”

“I don’t think I gave you the right advice. I thought- well, it doesn’t matter what I thought. But I didn’t know you were talking about Virgil. If I had-,”

“You would have told me it was hopeless,” Remus finished for him.

“I wouldn’t say hopeless. It’s just- what were you hoping for?”

“For things to back to the way they were,” Remus answered.

“Virgil didn’t seem to really… enjoy the way thing were,” Roman said.

Patton laid a hand on Remus’s arm. “And even if he did, you can’t go back to the past. What you want to happen is just…”

“A fantasy,” Roman finished.

Patton smiled ruefully. “It took us way too long to figure that out.”

Remus stared desolately at the table. “So it is hopeless.”

Of course it was, what had he expected? For his brother to be able to fix everything? Roman had just wanted Patton’s help breaking the news to him.

“You can’t go back to the past,” Roman said. “But maybe you could build something new?”

Remus shook his head. “Virgil doesn’t want to see me.”

“And we can’t make him see you again,” Patton said gently. “If he doesn’t want to, that’s his right. But we could tell him that you want to talk.”

Remus looked up, and saw that Patton and Roman were both looking earnestly at him. It sounded perfect. It sounded too perfect.

“This is a trick,” Remus realised. “You’re only suggesting it because you know he’ll say no.”

Patton shook his head. “We wouldn’t do that.”

“To tell you the truth, I don’t know what Virgil will do,” Roman said. “But at the very least, we can let him know you’re sorry. You are sorry, right?”

Remus nodded. “I never meant to hurt him. I thought I was just… having fun.”

“And now that you know better, you can fix it,” Patton said.

Still, Remus didn’t understand why they were helping.

“If Virgil and I do make up,” he said, watching their expressions carefully, “We might become friends again.”

Roman rolled his eyes. “That’s kind of the idea.”

Remus looked between them. “But why would you want that?”

Patton frowned, looking confused. “Why wouldn’t we want that?”

“Because you won. He’s with you.”

Was it a pity thing? _He ours now, but we guess you can still visit sometimes_?

“Do you really think that?” Patton asked. “That it’s some kind of… competition?”

“Isn’t everything? Light sides versus dark sides. I’m pretty sure you’re winning, by the way.”

“Maybe it shouldn’t be,” Roman said, and then ran a hand over his face. “Not when it comes to Thomas, we might never agree on that, but maybe we don’t all need to be enemies all the time.”

“And friendship isn’t a competition,” Patton added. “Him being your friend wouldn’t stop him from still being ours.”

Remus shook his head. Could they really be so trusting? “What if I steal him away again?”

“I don’t want Virgil to leave,” Patton admitted. “But if he really wanted to go back, I wouldn’t say no. That’s not friendship, it’s a cage.”

“But only if he chooses,” Roman said lightly. “No kidnapping allowed.”

Still, Remus hesitated. He’d never asked for help from the light sides before, it had always just been him and Deceit and Virgil, and they’d wanted it that way. Was Remus sure he could trust them?

Even if he couldn’t, did he have anything left to lose.

“Okay,” Remus said at last. “You can talk to him.”

Patton grinned and clapped his hands together. Roman smiled.

“What you were saying just now,” Remus said, “About not being enemies all the time. Did it just apply to Virgil?”

“No,” Roman said. “Not just Virgil.”

The dark side of the mindscape was empty when Remus returned, and somehow seemed emptier than it normally was. Remus wanted nothing more than to tear off his clothes and sleep. Tomorrow, he could do something relaxing, like make Thomas imagine murdering passers-by.

On the way to his room, however, Remus stopped at the only other door in the corridor, and knocked. “Dee?”

There was no reply.

Remus sighed. “You’re still mad at me, huh? I kinda figured you’d be ignoring me, like that time I got blood everywhere so I could see what the house would look like as a crime scene. Or the time I-“ Remus cut himself off. “Never mind. Look, I spoke to Roman today. Patton too. And before you ask, no, I don’t just mean I popped up and started talking. They let me stay.”

Remus had half expected that to get Deceit to open the door and demand to know everything that had happened, but there was just silence.

“For wet blankets, they had some good advice,” Remus continued. “I was wrong to try to force things. I just- I miss him.”

Still no answer.

“I’m sorry, Dee. If you want, I can always summon some monsters for you to kill? You don’t even need to talk to me, just slide a note under my door.”

There were footsteps from Deceits room, and they stopped right by the door. Remus held his breath, waiting for the door to open, but nothing happened. Deceit was probably waiting for him to go so he could leave his room.

“Yeah, okay,” Remus said. “I’ll, uh, try to stay out of your way.”

He waited another moment, just in case Deceit changed his mind, and then turned and went the rest of the way to his room.


	6. Step 6: Talk To Them

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so strange to think I'm almost done with this! Fun fact: I started writing the first chapter at the library, the last time I left the house that wasn't for food shopping. And now there's just one chapter left to write!
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone for all the support you've given me so far.

Thomas’s only response to Remus appearing in his living room was to glance up, nod, and then return to his laptop. Remus sighed theatrically and threw himself down on the sofa next to him.

“ _Thomas_ ,” Remus whined. “I’m boooored.”

Thomas shook his head. “I’m busy.”

Remus tried to peer round so that he could see the screen. “Can I help?”

“Absolutely not.”

Remus groaned and stared up at ceiling. He’d spent the past few days trying to avoid Deceit. With how easy it was, Deceit must also have been avoiding him. So far, Remus had created an itemised list of every way Thomas could kill someone with just household items. He’d also offered plenty of suggestions for videos Thomas could make.

More than anything, though, Remus wanted to _talk to someone_ about what he was doing.

He was about to give Thomas suggestions on what he should wear in his next video (nothing!), when Virgil appeared on the stairs.

Remus sat up quickly. Thomas looked up and frowned.

“Are you alright, Verge?”

It was a fair question. The cuffs of Virgil’s sleeves were covering his hands, and he was picking at his hood. But Virgil didn’t even seem to notice Thomas, he was looking at Remus.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

Remus’s heart thudded so hard he thought it might explode from his chest and make a mess on Thomas’s sofa. He nodded.

Thomas looked between them. “Er, is anyone gonna tell me what’s going on?”

Virgil shook his head. “It’s a side thing. Don’t worry about it.”

Thomas didn’t look convinced. “You never tell me not to worry about something.”

“Ah, Thomas,” Remus said. “I promise to bring Virgey back in one piece.” He paused, then added, “Three, tops.”

It was the exact kind of thing he _shouldn’t_ be saying to Virgil anymore, and he regretted it as soon as he said it. But Virgil just rolled his eyes.

“Alright,” Thomas said, and then added to Virgil, “Try to keep him away long enough for me to get this done.”

Virgil smirked. “Not a miracle worker.”

Remus sprang up from the sofa. “Where to? The Evil Swamp? The Terrible Wastes? The Cave of Monsters?”

“Cave of Monsters?” Virgil asked, before shaking his head. “Forget I said anything. Just take us somewhere we can talk? In private.”

“Terrible Wastes it is!”

Remus snapped his fingers, and the two of them reappeared in a vast, desolate landscape. There were no trees, as far as the eye could see, and an ice cold wind blew. Anyone who got lost would quickly die of exposure, or thirst. The chances of them living long enough to starve were slim.

Virgil glanced around and hugged his hoodie tighter to his body. “There aren’t any monsters around here, are there?” he asked.

Remus’s first instinct was to tell him that there were whole colonies of monsters underground, and any minute now one could come up and eat them alive. But, no, he was trying to be better. Trying to not make Virgil terrified every time he was around.

“They won’t come if I don’t want them to,” he said.

Virgil nodded, and relaxed a fraction, though he still looked stiff and awkward. “Right.”

Remus watched Virgil. Virgil looked at the ground.

The problem with agreeing to talk with someone was that it involved actually talking.

“Roman said you were going to wait for me to come to you,” Virgil began. “I didn’t believe it. Kept expecting you to pop up.”

Remus had wanted to, lots of times over the past couple of days. Even he was surprised that he hadn’t; ignoring his impulses wasn’t his strong suit.

“I’m a man of my word,” Remus replied.

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Let’s just get this over with.”

He watched Remus as if he expected Remus to attack at any time. His hands tugged at the drawstrings of his hoodie. Remus didn’t blame him for being nervous.

But Virgil was waiting for Remus to _do_ something, and Remus’s mind was blank. What did he say? What could possibly be good enough?

“I’m sorry,” Remus tried, and the words felt solid in his throat as he said them.

Virgil stopped fiddling. “Sorry,” he echoed. “What for?”

“Everything?” No, that wasn’t good enough. “For the way I treated you. For making your life hell.”

Virgil stared at the ground, his jaw tight. Then he nodded, just once. Remus relaxed.

“I didn’t mean to,” Remus added.

Virgil raised an eyebrow. “You didn’t mean to put those bug… things in my bed? What even were they?”

“A cross between a millipede and a spider, _duh_. And, yeah, I meant to put them there, that was hilarious.” _Pump the breaks, Remus._ “But I didn’t mean to…. Terrorise you with them.”

Virgil frowned, but said nothing.

“I thought it was a joke. I thought we were _friends_.”

“Oh,” Virgil said, quietly.

Was this touchy-feely bullshit what the Light Sides did _every day_? How did they cope? How did one of them not get fed up and murder the others?

Remus’s money was on Logan to be the first to snap. It was always the quiet ones.

“Well, thanks,” Virgil said. “For the apology.”

Remus nodded. He was so far out of his depth with this, it was like he was on the bottom of the ocean, the pressure crushing his lungs.

“Did it help?” Remus asked.

“I don’t know. Maybe. It doesn’t hurt.”

The two of them fell silent. The chill of the wind cut through Remus’s outfit. Maybe he should have found a different place for them to talk.

Virgil laughed.

“What?”

“We’re probably the worst sides to be having this conversation.”

Remus smiled. “I don’t know about that,” he said lightly. “Have you ever tried getting Dee to talk about his feelings?”

Virgil’s face darkened. “Let’s not talk about him.”

“He misses you.”

“Yeah? He has a great way of showing it.”

Deceit’s way of showing it was to _not_ show it. To hide it behind careful layers of misdirection, like a magician performing a trick. _Listen to me. Look here, so you don’t notice what my hands are doing_.

Virgil sighed, and rubbed a hand across his face. “Look,” he said. “You don’t know what he was like near the end. He made me think that I had nowhere to go. That I could never be any more that what I already was.”

“Could you?” Remus asked.

Virgil’s face softened. “I don’t know. Some days I think so, other days I don’t.” He smiled ruefully. “I keep trying, though. That’s gotta count for something, right?”

Remus nodded.

He’d always thought Virgil was deluding himself, the way Thomas tried to convince himself Remus didn’t exist. Now, though, he wanted it to be true.

“You seem different,” Remus offered.

Virgil ducked his head to hide his now genuine smile. “The others helped.”

“Deceit wanted me to leave you alone,” Remus said. “I was the one trying to get you back, not Deceit.”

“Huh,” Virgil said, his expression unreadable.

And in ignoring Deceit, Remus had almost ruined everything. Maybe he _had_ ruined everything. Maybe he was trying to glue the pieces back together, while everyone else knew that it was no good.

The ground beneath their feet shuddered. Virgil stumbled, and stared at Remus with wide eyes.

“What was that?” he asked.

Remus grimaced. “That might have been a Waste Worm.”

“A what? **_Remus_!”**

“Sorry! I wasn’t concentrating!”

The ground shook again, even worse now. Remus snapped his fingers, sending them away before the worm could erupt from beneath their feet. They rose up in the dark side common room. Remus winced, and glanced at Virgil, wondering if he would take offense. Remus had acted automatically, his instincts forgetting that Virgil no longer lived with them.

Virgil glared at Remus. “We are _not_ doing that again.”

“I said I was sorry!” Remus protested.

“ _Sorry!_ You said they wouldn’t attack!”

“They normally don’t! I have a lot on my mind, okay.”

Virgil opened his mouth to retort, but then his eyes fixed on something over Remus’s shoulder and he froze. Remus turned to see what Virgil was looking at.

Deceit stood in the doorway, looking like a rabbit caught in the headlights and about to be hit by a car.

Virgil looked away first.

“I should go,” he said to Remus.

Remus nodded. “Right.”

Virgil glanced at Deceit. “I could come back,” he said.

As if those were the magic words, Deceit turned on his heel and strode out of the room. Remus shot Virgil an apologetic glance before following.

“Deceit, wait!” Remus called.

Deceit stopped. “Have you made a plan for how to charm Logan, yet?”

Remus frowned at the non-sequitur. “What?”

Deceit turned around. “Well, you already managed Roman and Patton. And now that you and Virgil are friends again Logan is the only one left.”

Remus scowled. “Don’t be an asshole. You’re the one who ran off.”

“My presence would have been so welcome.” He shook his head. “I’m not going to stand in your way.”

“My way for what?” Remus asked.

It was like he’d been transported to a parallel universe. Like he was only hearing one half of a conversation.

Deceit sighed. “You don’t need to hide it from me. I’m not going to stop you leaving.”

“Leave?” Remus echoed. His stomach dropped. “Do you… want me to leave?”

Had Remus really upset Deceit so much that he couldn’t stand to be around him? Was he so bad, even the other bad side didn’t want him?

Panic rose inside him. Where would he go? Would he have to hide away in the imagination, or beg Roman for help?

Would he ever see Deceit again?

“I’m sorry for what I did, okay,” Remus said desperately. “I can be better. Please, don’t make me leave.”

Deceit sagged. “I’m not _making_ you leave,” he said. “I just want you to be able to take the opportunities given to you.”

Cautious hope rose up in Remus along with confusion. “You mean the light sides?”

Deceit nodded.

How did Deceit end up thinking Remus wanted to join _them_? Even if they weren’t as bad as Remus had thought, the idea of being so… _domestic_ made Remus want to tear his hair out.

But if the alternative was staying where he wasn’t wanted…

“Do you want me to leave?” Remus asked again.

Deceit said nothing.

“Because, if you want me to go, I will,” Remus continued. “But I don’t _want_ to go.”

Deceit stared at a spot on the floor. Finally, “I don’t want you to go,” he admitted.

“Then I’m not going.”

Deceit looked up. “But-.”

“What, I spend a few days with the Lights and you think I’m just gonna leave? Sorry, Deedee, but you’re stuck with me.”

Deceit failed to hide his smile. “How terrible,” he said.

Remus nodded. “You’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.”

“I certainly will.” He looked away. “The things I said-,”

Remus waved a dismissive hand. “Don’t worry about it. I’d annoy me too.”

“I was lying,” Deceit said. “You’re not the reason Virgil left.”

Deceit said it casually, like there was nothing wrong. It was certainly a bold move, seeing as Remus had seen his face when he saw Virgil.

“You could talk to him,” Remus offered.

Deceit shook his head. “He wants nothing to do with me.”

“Has he said that?”

Deceit didn’t reply.

“You fucked up,” Remus said. “So did I. Doesn’t make it hopeless. He was willing to talk to _me_.”

“Congratulations,” Deceit said dryly. “It’s not the same.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s different.”

Deceit shook his head. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

Remus sighed. “Just think about it, okay?”

“It’s a bad idea.”

“Those are the best kind!”

Deceit gritted his teeth. “Fine,” he said. “I’ll consider it.”

“Great.” Remus clapped his hands together. “Now, how’d you like to see me swallow a live fish?”

Deceit turned and walked away.

“Deedee!” Remus called. “Come on, I thought we were _bonding_.”

“The bonding’s over.”

“It doesn’t have to be a fish!”

“Good _bye_ Remus.”

His face was turned away, but Remus could tell that Deceit was smiling.


	7. Step 7: Profit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are. Thank you so much for all the comments and kudos!

Remus bashed his Morningstar into the head of the manticore-chimera, sending pieces of skull and brain flying. He grinned and turned to see his audience’s reaction.

Deceit stood with his arms crossed behind the metal grate that separated him from the cave. He raised one eyebrow.

“You have blood on your face.”

Remus swiped a hand across his face, grinning when he saw it come away red. “Did you see me cripple its legs?” he asked, rocking on the balls of his feet.

“You took your time with it.”

“More fun that way.” Remus shifted his Morningstar so it rested on his shoulders.

Deceit rolled his eyes, but before he could say anything, Virgil appeared next to him. Deceit went still. Virgil looked around the cave, his eyes landing on Deceit, then Remus, and then the dead monster.

“What the hell is this place?” Virgil asked.

Remus spread his arms wide, grinning. “Monster fight club!”

One corner of Virgil’s mouth turned upwards briefly, before returning back to normal. “You have a monster fight club now. Of course you do.”

Deceit cleared his throat. “Remus, I’ll see you later.”

Remus frowned. “You’re leaving? Why?”

Deceit’s eyes darted to Virgil, before focusing on Remus again. “I have things to do.”

“I could come back later,” Virgil offered.

Deceit shook his head. “You don’t have to leave.”

“Neither do you.”

“ _Or_ Virgil could tell us what he’s here for before you both fall on your swords. Not that I’d object to that.”

Virgil shrugged. “It’s nothing. I just wanted to ask you something.”

“Great!” Remus said. He summoned a giant wolf. “Ask me once I’ve killed this.”

Deceit glared. “ _Remus_ ,” he said warningly.

“Sorry, can’t hear you, too busy fighting!” Remus called, and he lunged at the wolf.

The wolf dodged his first attack, snarling. The wolf moved next, and Remus raised his Morningstar to meet it, but the wolf changed direction at the last minute. Remus had to dance away to avoid the wolf’s jaws.

“Oh my God,” Virgil said behind him. “He’s gonna get killed.”

“And yet, that’s never stopped him.”

Remus and the wolf circled each other.

“I don’t have to stay,” Deceit said.

“Shut up,” Virgil muttered. “I’m not gonna kick you out. That’s a dick move.”

The wolf leaped. Remus ducked down as the creature passed over him, and swiped at the wolf’s hind leg. The leg gave out when the wolf landed, sending it tumbling to the ground. It snarled.

“I deserved that comment.” Deceit sighed.

“Get used to them,” Virgil said.

The wolf pulled itself to its feet, not quite putting all its weight on its bad leg. Remus twirled his mace through the air a couple of times as he waited for the wolf to be ready.

“I thought you’d come back,” Deceit said.

“Better get used to disappointment, too.”

Remus dashed forward, swinging, but the wolf was fast enough to dodge out of the way. He twisted to face it.

“I meant in the argument,” Deceit said. “I didn’t expect you to just leave.”

“You told me to,” Virgil argued.

“You _always_ do what I say.”

“Once I would have done anything for you,” Virgil said quietly.

The wolf was already there, and Remus held up his hands to keep it back. Its jaws snapped shut near his face. Remus pushed it away and brought his mace down on the wolf’s shoulder. The wolf collapsed to the floor, tried to snap at him, failed. Remus stepped back, waiting for it to rise again.

“I’m sorry,” Deceit said, so quiet it took Remus a moment to figure out what he’d just said.

Behind the grate, someone let out a choked, ragged noise.

The wolf got shakily to its feet. It could barely stand, but it wouldn’t give up. The pain just made it angrier. He didn’t give it a chance to attack again, however. He finished the fight with a quick blow to the back of the wolf’s neck.

He turned back to the grate. Virgil was staring straight ahead, but he clearly wasn’t seeing anything that was going on. Deceit was watching Virgil.

Remus cleared his throat. Virgil blinked, and focused on Remus. Deceit quickly looked away from Virgil.

“So,” Rems said, as if he had no idea what had just gone down. “What did you want to ask?”

Virgil looked confused, before he shook himself. “Right. Well, we’re gonna be watching a movie tonight. Starting at seven.”

Remus tilted his head. “Congratulations?”

Virgil stared at the ground. He scuffed it with one foot. “Never mind, it’s stupid.”

“I think,” Deceit said, his voice strange, “That Virgil is inviting you to the movie night.”

Remus almost laughed at that, but one look at Virgil’s nervous expression confirmed it.

“Oh,” Remus said.

Virgil shrugged, still not looking up. “Not just you.”

Remus glanced at Deceit, but his face remained impassive. It was as if he hadn’t heard what Virgil had just said.

Remus had been to movie nights before, but only when Thomas was there too. He had never been _invited_ to one. It shouldn’t have meant anything; Remus didn’t need someone else’s permission to go anywhere. Except Virgil hunched further in on himself the longer Remus’s silence lasted, and that seemed to mean everything.

“You don’t have to. It’s dumb, I know.”

Deceit shot Remus a sharp look.

“We’ll be there,” Remus said.

Virgil glanced cautiously up. “Yeah?”

“Light side at seven,” Remus promised. “I’ll even wear clothes!”

Virgil snorted. “I appreciate it.”

He glanced at Deceit and then back again. “I’ll see you at seven, then.”

“Looking forward to it!”

Virgil nodded. He glanced at Deceit one more time, before vanishing.

Remus turned to Deceit, ready to gush about everything that had just happened, but Deceit didn’t look happy.

“Have fun tonight,” he said stiffly, and then he disappeared too.

Remus paced impatiently in the dark sides’ common room. It was seven o’clock, but there was no sign of Deceit.

Had he decided that they should show up late, for some reason? He hadn’t said anything to Remus, Remus hadn’t even seen him since the cave, but maybe it was some weird social custom that he assumed Remus knew about.

Or had he decided to go _early_ , and so he was already there? Maybe they were all waiting for Remus, or maybe they’d decided that Remus wasn’t coming, and had started without him.

He paced the length of the room once, twice more, and then went to find Deceit.

Deceit looked bemused when he opened his door. “It’s seven o’clock,” he said.

Remus nodded, waiting for an explanation, for Deceit to roll his eyes and fondly explain that they couldn’t show up _on time_.

“Shouldn’t you be at the movie night?” Deceit asked.

Remus rolled his eyes. “Yeah, probably, so get a move on, will you?”

Deceit just looked confused. “I’m not going.”

Out of all the things Remus had expected, that hadn’t been one of them.

“You have to come,” he protested. “I can’t go on my own.”

“Why not?” Deceit asked. “The others like you. Virgil clearly wants you there.”

“He wants _you_ there, too.” Remus pointed out. “Otherwise he wouldn’t have invited you.”

Deceit sighed, and shook his head. “Virgil wanted to be civil. He invited me as a platitude, nothing more.”

“Since when does Virgil care about being _civil_ ,” Remus gave the word the disgust it deserved.

“Remus, _they don’t want me there_.”

Remus stared at Deceit. It was clear he had made up his mind, and no amount of arguing would change it. Deceit was nothing if not stubborn.

Remus was stubborn too. He pushed past Deceit and walked into his room, and flopped down on the yellow bed.

“What are you doing?” Deceit asked.

“Getting comfy,” Remus answered, wiggling slightly on the bedsheets. “If you’re not going, I’m not either.”

Deceit narrowed his eyes. “I know what you’re trying to do,” he said.

“Glad we’re on the same page.”

“You can’t believe you can trick me.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

“ _Get out_ ,” Deceit hissed.

“Nope!” Remus sat up. “You want me to go, you have to come with me. Or you could try to make me.”

They both knew the latter was impossible. Remus was _very_ good at not being moved. When he went boneless, it was very literal.

Deceit glared at him, his jaw twitching. Remus smiled right back.

Deceit threw up his hands. “Fine! But I reserve the right to leave at any time.”

“Sure,” Remus agreed, because he fully intended to not let Deceit leave until the movie was over.

Deceit narrowed his eyes, which probably meant he could see through Remus’s lie. Remus didn’t give him a chance to call him out on it, though. He grabbed Deceit by the arm, and sent them both to the light sides’ common room.

“Remus!” Patton greeted from the stairs. He was carrying a large pile of blankets. “I was beginning to wonder if you’d show up, kiddo.”

He took another step, and faltered when he saw Deceit, who stood stiffly in one place. “Uh, good to see you too,” Patton said awkwardly.

Patton reached the bottom of the stairs, and crossed over to the two of them. Next to them, Deceit tensed, but Patton just shoved the blankets into his arms. Deceit took them, staring at Patton bewildered.

“Take these to Roman, will you. He’s still setting up,” Patton ordered. “I’m gonna let Virgil know you’re here.”

Patton disappeared up the stairs without waiting for a reply. Remus shrugged, and grabbed Deceits arm, and dragged him through the living room.

They found Roman in the kitchen, trying to balance two large bowls of popcorn in his arms. He grinned when he saw them. “Remus!” he cheered. “And Snakeface!”

“Okay,” Deceit muttered, and turned to leave, but Remus tightened his grip and spun Deceit around again.

Deceit sighed, and held out the blankets towards Roman. “Where do you want these?” he asked.

“Just put them on the sofa,” Roman answered, and Deceit squirmed is way out of Remus’s grip to do that.

“How’d you get him to come?” Roman asked, once Deceit had left the room.

“I persuaded him with my charming personality,” Remus replied.

“Huh,” Roman said. “I would have just refused to leave him alone until he agreed.”

Remus laughed, and Roman handed him one of the bowls. The two of them followed Deceit out into the living room.

“So,” Roman said once they’d placed the bowls down on the coffee table. “Important question - for you too, Lies and Dolls: Salty or sweet popcorn?”

“Salty, _duh_ ,” Remus answered.

Roman made an affronted noise, and placed one hand over his heart. “I can’t believe this!” he cried. “I’ve been betrayed by own brother, in my own house! Truly, this is the worst thing to ever happen to me.”

“All the other times he betrayed you don’t count?” Deceit asked.

“Those betrayals pale in the face of this one,” Roman answered.

Remus snickered. “You need to open your mind,” he said. “Besides, salty is the flavour of-,”

“You’re here.”

Remus turned, mid-sentence, to see Virgil standing on the staircase, Patton hovering next to him. He glanced across at Deceit, who said nothing.

“Surprised?” Remus asked, when it was clear no one else was going to speak.

“Kind of, yeah,” Virgil answered, and descended the staircase. He cleared his throat. “Hey, uh, Deceit, can I talk to you?”

Deceit stiffened and shot a desperate glance at Remus. Remus gave him a thumbs up.

“Fine,” Deceit answered. 

Virgil led the way back upstairs, and Deceit followed, back ram-rod straight, walking as if he were going to a firing squad.

“Well,” Patton said, in the silence that followed. “How are the preparation’s going?”

“ _Patton_ ,” Roman complained. “Did you know Remus, my own brother, likes _salted_ popcorn?”

“Oh, good,” Patton said. “That means there’s someone else to eat it. Logan _says_ he likes salted popcorn,” he added to Remus, conspiratorially, “But I’ve seen him sneak some out of the sweet bowl, when he thinks no one’s looking.”

Remus smiled. But he couldn’t stop glancing at the staircase, wondering what Deceit and Virgil were talking about.

Patton clapped his hands together. “We need drinks! What should we have?”

Roman started on a long monologue about how Pepsi was clearly the superior soda, and Remus took advantage of the distraction to slip upstairs. The black paint of Virgil’s door was peeling, probably for the aesthetic more than anything else. He crouched in front of it, and pressed his ear to the wood.

“- was angry that you left,” Deceit was saying, inside.

“Yeah, I got that,” Virgil replied.

There was pause.

“What you did wasn’t okay,” Virgil said.

“I know,” Deceit said. “If you want me to leave…”

“I invited you, didn’t I?”

Deceit said nothing.

“Look, I still haven’t forgiven you yet. But I think I could.”

Still, Deceit said nothing.

“I miss my friend,” Virgil added.

A hand grabbed Remus by his shoulder and pulled him backwards. Remus toppled over, so he was lying on his back. He stared up at Roman, who stood over him.

“There you are,” Roman said. “I should have known you were up to something nefarious.”

“Do you want to listen?” Remus offered.

For a moment, Roman looked tempted, before he shook his head. “No! Besides, Patton is looking for us. Come on.”

Reluctantly, Remus got to his feet and headed downstairs. Before they properly entered the living room, however, Roman held an arm out to stop him.

He gestured to upstairs. “Are they…?”

Remus didn’t really know what Virgil and Deceit were. “They’ll be okay,” he answered.

Roman nodded. “Good.”

Remus shot him a confused look. Roman had never seemed concerned about Deceit before.

“Virgil’s my friend,” Roman explained, and Remus nodded.

Patton smiled at them from where he was knelt by the refreshments. “I think we’re all set, kiddos. Now we just need to wait for the others to come down.”

It didn’t take long before Remus heard a door open and close upstairs. He heard Virgil say something, muffled, as Deceit descended the stairs.

Remus raised an eyebrow at Deceit. _You good?_

Deceit gave a short nod in response.

“Logan’s on his way,” Virgil said, as he followed.

The group clustered around the sofa, swapping blankets and bickering about what movie to watch. Even Deceit, though he didn’t join in the conversation. Remus found himself on the edge of the group. When no one was paying attention, he wandered to the staircase, and sat about halfway up it and watched.

Patton was sat at one end of the sofa, with Roman on the other end. Virgil and Deceit sat in the middle, both looking stiff, keeping far enough apart that they wouldn’t touch. Deceit turned his head to Virgil, his scales glinting in the light, and said something into his ear. Whatever it was, Virgil laughed.

“Is something the matter?”

Remus twisted around. Logan stood behind him, looking as well put together as always, though instead of his usual black shoes he wore a pair of periodic table socks.

“You are not sitting with the others,” Logan continued, apparently taking Remus’s silence for confusion. “Is there a problem?”

“Pretty sure the problem’s about two feet in front of you,” Remus quipped. When Logan didn’t respond, he shrugged. “They’re having fun.”

Logan furrowed his brow. “Yes, that is why we are going to join them.”

Remus squirmed in his seat. Logan’s steady stare seemed to see right through him. “I’ll ruin it.”

“Falsehood,” Logan said firmly. “Your presence is, in fact, part of the desired experience. That is why we invited you.”

Remus blinked. “We?”

“Of course,” Logan said. “Virgil would not have invited someone without raising it with us first. We all agreed that we wanted you here.”

He glanced over the bannister and added, “Although we did agree on Deceit being here after the invitation was given.”

Remus shook his head. “You don’t even know me.”

“That is why I agreed to invite you.”

Remus was unable to think of a proper response to that. Logan nodded, as if the matter was settled, and stepped around him. In a daze, Remus stood up and followed.

Roman’s face lit up as soon as he saw Remus. “There you are!”

He gestured to the spot next to him, but Remus sat on the floor in front of him instead, and Logan took the offered seat. Roman nudged his with his foot, and Remus swatted Roman’s leg.

“Since you two are late, you lost your chance to vote,” Roman declared.

“You fix the votes anyway,” Virgil argued.

“Really?” Deceit sounded interested. “How?”

“Well,” Patton said, before Deceit and Roman got a chance to discuss different methods of cheating. “Now that everyone’s here, how about we start the movie?”

The familiar opening of _Lilo and Stitch_ began to play. Remus leaned back, so that his back rested against the sofa and his arm rested next to Roman’s leg.

Almost immediately, Roman began a steady stream of sarcastic comments. When Deceit spoke up, a quarter of the way though, he managed to get a laugh from most of the group.

Okay, fine. Maybe the Light sides weren’t so bad company after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


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